I was reading newspaper this morning while I came accross this interesting article. It says Disappeared. It was about this issue that couldn't be solved for thousands of years. There's even a saying in chinese that says, the problems withing in laws are so complicated that even scholars also couldn't solve it. So let's face it.
Well it was a story of this old couple which had a son and a daugther in law. At first this old man Lee was very hardworking when he is still young. He worked hard for his family. However when his son grew up, he found a girl and got married. From then onwards he neglected his parents. One day, this old man Lee's grandson came and asked him a question. "grandpa, when are u going," asked the 10 year old boy. Old man Lee was puzzled and asked him,"go where?" This little kid was so naive that he replied what the mother had told him. He said," Mummy say I don't have to share room with my sister anymore after grandpa had gone." At once old man Lee caught the meaning. (it's so obvious la!) So that night, old man Lee sat quietly around the dining table, refuse to evan move the chop sticks. The son was puzzled. So he asked his father why he wasn't eating? Old man Lee replied that there's someone wishing that he is dead so that her son can had his own room, so he was just making the whole procedure faster by fasting. Immediately the son's wife caught his meaning and shouted back at him. Old man Lee got hurt so deeply that he ran out from the house and disappeared. The son went and search for him but he couldn't find him. They thought he might went for a cup of coffee with his friends just to relax and get over with this things. However he wasn't back in 24hours. So they reported to the police. After 13days, the police came back with a news, they found a body near a palm estate. They asked the son to indentify whether that's his father. But old man Lee's wife was so relax that she said that is not your father. Don't worry. He's not dead. However after a week, she went to her son. She told her son that his father came back. His son was so happy that he ran to his father's room to find out that he was lying there. He put his fingers on his father's nose and found out that he was dead. His mother then told him, actually old man Lee came back right after they went searching for him. He was so hurt that he refused to see them again. So he was all the while hiding in his room!!
For the Daugther-in-law
I really must let you know the feeling of a mother. Well actually I don't quite know since I am a boy. However after much of this in law quarelling thing, more or less I can understand them. You see, a mother's worst fear will be losing her child. I got lots of testimonial from my mum and her collegue. When I was still a little kid, I'm like a monkey. Now still behave like one. Right, whenever she brought me to supermarket, I will run around and disappeared. Until now, I disappeared three times already. I still remember this particular case about me going to KFC. It was this not so fine afternoon that I felt like eating KFC, so my mum brought me to this shopping complex near my house and let me go and buy my food. So I took the money and went without listening to what she said. Then when I come out, she was gone! So I was kinda panic, but so happen that my dad drove by from work so I stopped him and I went home. I told him mum was gone when I come out. He just laughed. When we got home, I saw my mum's car. My dad said to me that my mum is back at home. Then I was so happy and I ran into the house. However, the house was empty. My mum wasn't there. There I thought where did my mum go? But at the age of 8, I didn't think that much and I started eating my food la. Then it rained. My dad was quite worried looking. So he took me out to search for my mum. Then we came back again without any result. Suddenly we saw someone wet came running towards us. It was my mum! She went on foot looking for me when she didn't see me coming out from the shopping complex. She was still searching for me when it rained. So you see this is a mother's love! You can never beat that.
That is why sometimes your mother-in-law fussed around you. She had no bad intention actually. She had nothing against you. She just expect you to provide the same thing she gave to her son. Sometimes we also can blame it on the generation gap. They might have their olden days thinking which is already outdated now. But why don't you just listen to her and maybe give her you opinion in a nice way? You don't have to shout at her or show her faces? She just want her son to enjoy! She loved her son. And you girls just couldn't take a simple advice? Yeah I admit there are times where your mother-in-law was quite, erm, annoying. They just can't stop blabbering around you. Hey!! They are old people right? They tend to have this syndrome which my sister just told me and I forgot what was it already. Old people have this kind of fear. They are affraid of everything. Some will always think that there are people out there trying to harm them. Some have this feeling that people want to steal their things. It's just a normal process of a human being. YOU ARE GOING TO BE LIKE THAT ONE DAY!!! So just let them blabber la. You do your part, be nice to them. Don't lose your patience. They are just like a little kid. You don't lose your patience when they don't know how to do something. In stead you thought they were cute for behaving like that! So why don't you try treating you in laws like babies and you definitely will have a better life.
For the MOTHER-in-law
Alright, I know you want to give the best in the world to your child. Please be reminded that there are always people out there having the same thinking as you. Namely their spouse. Especially you daugther-in-law! She also want the give your son the best she can. She had her way you had your way. Just try asking your son, and make sure he's honest to you, did he liked it when you and his wife were quarelling on a simple thing such as which type of soya sauce is better? Come on I can answer on behalf of him. Unless he's idiot. HE WILL DEFINITELY SAY NO!!! That is why your son will choose to move out after some time he got married. He can't stand it when both of you are quarreling. So better to suffer a bit and get his own house and he is done with the noise. So in this way, you lost your son! Come back to the topic. You should be more open. Don't have the thinking that this girl is here to take my son away. I must make sure she don't have a good life here. I WANT HER OUT! Come on you IDIOT MORON! Do you think your son will be happy when you chase his wife out of the house? HE IS GOING TO CURSE YOU IN EVERYWAY HE KNOWS! That applies to the wife too! IF YOU SUCCESSFULLY CHASE YOUR MOTHER IN LAW OUT OF THE HOUSE, YOUR LOVELY HUSBAND WILL BE A MONSTER SOON!!
People say that great mind thinks alike and people of the same kind mix together. So, both of you have great minds, you want this particular man to have the best he could and both of you are doing the same thing! So why don't you work together and provide him something he couldn't even dream of when only one of you is acting alone? Provide him a better and peaceful family. What more can a guy ask for? He's got a wife, beautiful kids and his beloved mother. He has what he has. Unvalueable treasure - provided it's peaceful. Try to understand that his wife is also learning and trying to suit in to a new family. She will be having a hard time trying to be a "daugther of yours". Try to treat her like your best friend. I don't ask you to treat her like your own daugther, just your friend. You wouldn't try every single way to eliminate your friends right?
So, these are a few things both of you should learn up! (D-daugther-in-law, M-mother-in-law)
1. D should try to understand what your M is doing.
2. D should bare in mind that if you start quarelling, your husband might go to pub and end up with other girl.
3. D should learn your husband house rules, their custom and traditions.
4. M, try to think in a way that D is not here to snatch your son away, she's here to love your son.
5. M, do not ever show you ugly temper! Don't have funny behavior! eg. You don't need 2 bottles of soya sauce in the kitchen.
6. M, Be nice to D. Live together and you'll live happily ever after. (after all you don't have much time left-that's universal truth).
So people out there, especially boys. Don't be affraid to approach any of them to discuss with them your problem. I mean those problem caused by them. Have them talk nicely to each other. Don't pamper any of them. Be fair. I'm sure you know who's right and who's wrong. Tell them. Don't be affraid of them. BE A MAN!!! DO THE RIGHT THING!!! Of course when I mean do the right thing, I don't me scolding them. If I can see a few families where M & D can live happily together, I don't see a single excuse for you to say that it is impossible for yours to be like that.
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*stay tuned. Men's to come soon.
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